I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
