You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
