I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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