May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can I color on your dick again?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
