My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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