I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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