i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
