i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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