You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
