Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize