I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
