She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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