forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
