Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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