Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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