Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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