like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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