The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
