I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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