theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
