hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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