so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
only if we run a train.
done.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
