How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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