We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
