Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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