I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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