Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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