Apparently you make a good broom.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
