I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
