Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
