We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
