so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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