Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
