Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
