Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
