You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
