I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
