i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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