Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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