mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
