I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm both gender and math confused
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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