There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
