Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize