Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just high enough for therapy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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