I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize