Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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