I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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