I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
