these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
