Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
