Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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