the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
