I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
