I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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