I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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