Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
