escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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