Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
